Today's entry will be about improving the deeper qualities
of your story. This will mostly be about line edits. What are line edits? A close
examination of what you are writing…a.k.a. paying attention to the words you
put on the page.
This post was inspired by one of my Fiction Writing Workshop
classes. I read through critiques of the poem I had workshopped and found that
almost everyone had similar reactions and questions. One observation that my
professor made was that the style and format of the poem seemed very
intentional.
The comments my classmates made were literally split 50/50. Some
people thought my choice of rhymes fit well, and others disagreed. Some people
liked that I chopped the lines in the last two stanzas, others didn't. Almost
everyone asked why I italicized the word preserve
when no other words were italicized. Only one person caught onto the fact that
there is one line, in the fifth stanza, that didn't rhyme with any other lines.
Then something caught me off-guard: except for the people
who I told the subject of the poem to beforehand, almost no one knew what the
poem was about. This struck the loudest. So then someone told them and a chorus
of "Ohhhhhs" spread around
the room. It made complete sense once people knew the subject of the poem.
But what I found—and what I was aiming for—were the
observations and questions people had. Almost everything in my poem was
intentional, from the choice of words, to the (seemingly-forced) rhymes and
messy style at the end.
So, after you excuse that long introduction, I give you...
5 Ways to Intentionally Improve You Story's Quality
#1. WRITE WITH INTENT
Anything you write, whether it be poetry, prose, music,
eulogies....anything....should have a purpose. Writing should present a
message. It should mean something to you. So put your heart into the job.
Let your work speak to readers. They want to go on an adventure, learn a lesson (I'm NOT looking at you, school books), and be entertained. Speak to your reader through your words. Develop characters and scenarios that resonate in the reader's heart. THAT
should be your goal.
 |
| I'm not sure Mr. Darcy will approve of polygamy, though. |
#2. CHOOSE YOUR NEXT WORDS CAREFULLY...
Seriously. You don't have to sit there for ten minutes
before you write something, but after you put words on the page, go back and
look at them. What do they say? Okay, now what do they really say? Read them
out loud. Read them sarcastically. Read them angrily. Read them joyfully.
What fits best? Okay, now what words present the tone you
are trying to convey? There are different words, heck, different syllable-counts
for different emotions. Short, tight sentences with one-syllable words
generally show negative emotion. Longer sentences with longer words can express
positive emotion. Of course there are exceptions. But take the following
example:
Amy looked at Greg and pushed him.
Amy glared at Greg and slapped him.
Amy smirked at Greg and nudged him.
The first sentence conveys a neutral tone. "Looked" is a neutral word. It
doesn't show too much. You don't sense anger or joy. It just is. The same thing
with "pushed." Not too
harsh, not too light. It falls in the middle.
The second sentence conveys an angry tone. "Glared" is negative. We
usually associate glaring with anger and resentment. Then she goes so far as to
"slap" Greg. Yup, right in
the face. Again, you probably related the slap to a negative emotion.
The third sentence conveys a light, happy tone. "Smirked" is associated to a
playful grin. "Nudged" is
interpreted as a playful bump, maybe on the arm or in the ribs. Something you
might do when someone makes you laugh.
You can see how these three sets of words (looked/pushed,
glared/slapped, smirked/nudged) all convey different meanings. Each presents a
different scenario and fills your chest with a different feeling, even though
the same kinds of motions are made in each. The first sentence is kind of
boring, while the other two each have action present. Why is she angry? Or,
conversely, what did he do to make her laugh? Simple word choice can change the
meaning of sentences. Pick your words wisely.
#3. EMPHASIZE DIFFERENT WORDS...CHANGE THE MEANING OF AN
ENTIRE SENTENCE
In the example I'm about to give, watch how the meaning of
the sentence changes depending on the word that is emphasized. This alone shows
why texting is the least-effective form of communication (especially during
arguments).
I never said she stole my money.
I never said she stole my money.
I never said she stole my money.
I never said she stole my money.
I never said she stole my money.
I never said she stole my money.
I never said she stole my money.
Read those? Did you emphasize where I told you to? See how
the sentences have seven different meanings? That's what emphasis can do. Sometimes
it doesn't work (yes, there are sentences that don't change all that much, but
this one is pretty effective).
Pay close attention to how and where you emphasize. It makes
a BIG difference. You can use this in poetry to strengthen points. Do that. Practice
this element.
 |
| And then there's this devil spawn. |
#4. EXPAND SENTENCES TO RAISE QUESTIONS AND ADD ACTION
You'd be surprised how many times people think "this is enough" when it's
not. As I'll explain in Point #5, every sentence should mean something. This
point will just show you how to think about structuring sentences.
You want to convey as much information in every
sentence....AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. This is where run-on sentences become a
problem. Some people just don't recognize where to put a period. You might have
read a friend's essay and just prayed that it was some kind of a sick joke.
Trust me, I have.
Some people's writing is atrocious. Periods where commas
should go, semicolons when none are needed....heck, whole words that have no
relation to the sentence at all. But run-on sentences seem to be the biggest
crime. Don't cram too much stuff into a sentence. Make one point per sentence
and be done. Just make sure it's really done. Take this example:
Amy glared at Greg.
Amy glared at Greg and slapped him.
Amy glared at Greg and slapped him because he laughed.
Amy glared at Greg and slapped him because he laughed at her
dress.
Okay, look at how the tension rises. First you get that she
is peeved. Then you find out she is angry. Next you find out she is angry
because he’s laughing…but why? Finally you find out he’s laughing at her dress.
Clearly, there’s an argument on the horizon.
#5. EVERY SENTENCE SHOULD MEAN SOMETHING
In regards to writing poetry and prose, I like to say, "If you can't explain why you wrote
something, don't write it at all." Every sentence, every line, and
every word should serve a purpose.
This is a culmination of the above pointers. Think about why
you chose to write what you did. In poetry, you don't always have that much
time to tell a story, create emotion, and reach into the reader. This makes
every word important. In prose, you have a bit more leniency, but the more
words that mean something, the stronger the connection with your reader will
be. Here are some tips:
Avoid "generic" words. It, they, is, was, had, been, too, so, else, everything, everyone, all,
a lot, etc, etc. Try to find formal substitutes. Name objects and actions
to strengthen flow and clarity. This can also prevent the phenomenon known as “pronoun
syndrome,” where you have characters giving vague answers in order to have
other characters ask what they’re talking about. Unless the situation calls for
pronoun syndrome (and not many cases do), you’re just wasting words.
Avoid excessive use of adverbs. Basically, don’t turn write
the next Twilight. Bleh. You’ve
probably heard it called “purple prose.”
Avoid words that end in "-ly."
(There are other forms of adverbs, but these are good to plug into your CTRL+F function
on a word processor). Common culprits include suddenly, immediately, quickly, and usually. Adverbs are just messy. They distract the reader and pull
him/her out of the story.
 |
| She literally uses the same descriptions hundreds of times. |
Use proper emphasis. Don't just emphasize just to throw the
pace of the paragraph for a loop. Do it to convey emotion and importance. As I
showed above, emphasis on various words manipulates sentences in all sorts of
ways.
Whenever possible, avoid gerunds. If it ends in "-ing," there's a good chance
it will weaken the sentence. There are other ways to make the same point that
looks much cleaner. And the sentence will sound better when you read it aloud.
The best way to convey emotion, other than word choice, is
to utilize appropriate sentence length. Short sentences with short syllables
show negative emotion VERY well. Longer sentences with multi-syllable words are
found as neutral/positive sentences.
You don't need exclamation points ("!") to show
every bit of excitement or outburst from a character. More times than not, it
will seem awkward. Choose your words carefully and the whole sentence will come
alive just as it needs to. I have written sentences that shout in my head
because I used words common to "shouting language." Sometimes
sentences feel whispered. Switch around your diction and see what happens.
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